


Steve Rogers is a Troll (And His Lovers Love Him For It)

by StonyAvengerGirl16 (CharmedBritannia)



Series: StarkSpangledWinter [9]
Category: The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Don't call Steve innocent, Fluff, His lovers are unaffected, Humor, Like Major Trolling, M/M, Steve Rogers is a little shit, Trolling, because he's not, or pure
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-28
Updated: 2015-11-28
Packaged: 2018-05-03 17:22:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,362
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5299997
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CharmedBritannia/pseuds/StonyAvengerGirl16
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Steve Rogers is an absolute troll. It's too bad no one is willing to overlook the Steve Rogers they expect. Bucky and Tony are not affected one bit, despite the fact that everyone else is confused.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Steve Rogers is a Troll (And His Lovers Love Him For It)

**Author's Note:**

> I am pretending the new Civil War trailer doesn't exist. If anyone wants to live in denial with me, leave a prompt or request!
> 
> Enjoy!

\---

Steve was irritated.

 

Not even irritated, per say. Just...annoyed. He had been hoping it was getting better, but when he thought about it, it really wasn't. People still tip-toed around him, spoke overly professionally to and around him, and rushed to clarify every damn reference despite the fact that he had been in the future for more than a year, thank you very much. They assumed he didn't know how to work a tablet, or his phone, or his laptop, or _anything._ Sure, he wasn't on Tony 's level (but would anyone ever really be technology-wise?), but he could for damn sure use Google just fine, despite popular belief. And although he didn't think that vulgar language was something that should be thrown about towards others, because it was disrespectful, he wasn't _offended_ or _astonished_ by it. In fact, he swore plenty on his own. He was from the slums of Brooklyn, and he was in the army. The Howling Commandos bled out his ears a _long_ time ago. 

 

But it as he sat in his chair during their break in their monthly WSC debrief, he mulled over this, and wondered how exactly he was going to fix it. His team had dropped their misconceptions after they heard him watching a baseball game ( _you've gotta be fucking kidding me!)_ , or when he was irritated with various appliances _(damn coffee machine, where's the fucking button Tony showed me again?),_ or even on rare occasions, them _(Clint I fucking swear if you ate my Mexican food again I am going to kick your ass!)_. But he couldn't just go around swearing at SHIELD HQ. 

 

Or could he?

 

Maybe he could have some fun with this.

 

Tony and Bucky just rolled their eyes at Steve's contemplative face. They knew that face, and that face meant Steve was planning to be a little shit. It was far from common knowledge, but Steve knew how to fuck with people if he put his mind to it. If you cleared away the whole gilded 'Captain America' title, he was a male in his mid-twenties from Brooklyn. Sure, he was the most responsible out of all of them, and could be more than a little mom-ish, but when he dropped the act, oh boy was there sass. 

 

So. Much. Sass.

\-----

_"FUCK!"_

 

Everyone's head swiveled towards whoever let fly the extremely loud swear, but the only person where they were looking was Steve Rogers. That couldn't be right...

 

Steve held in a snort. 

 

"Is something wrong?"

 

No one wanted to tell _Captain America_ that someone just damn near sreamed an explicative, so they just muttered a dissent. He had to have heard that, right? But he was still looking at them with a look of innocent confusion. They all must have been hearing something. It couldn't possibly have been him. Bucky and Tony raised an eyebrow, unimpressed. Steve kept up the innocent face through the entire meeting.

\-----

It had been an extremely awkward day at SHIELD HQ. Steve Rogers had been walking around, asking for the definitions of things that he _knew_ no one would want to explain; at least, not to _him._ He had spent about three hours on Urban Dictionary (Clint had recommended it to him, to Tony's horror) looking for the most filthy and inappropriate sayings he could. A part of him did feel bad for a moment, but the end goal of squashing this apple-pie-picnic-persona took precedence.

 

So he had walked up to various agents, putting on his best 'confused puppy' face (Tony had named his expressions and they just sort of stuck), and damn near gave people a heart attack. _  
_

 

"Say, I heard these young men saying something about a 'Dirty Sanchez'. Do you happen to know what that is?"

 

The agent paled, and stuttered. He mumbled something about Mexican chocolate and how  unhealthy it was, oh so many calories and far too much sugar, before awkwardly speed-walking away.

 

Steve couldn't help but snicker.

\-----

Eyes bulged as Steve Rogers pulled out his phone while the government bigwig of the week complained on the screen. He swiped and tapped, and no one could believe what they were seeing. But, they all decided, it must have been important, or else he wouldn't be. He wasn't _Tony Stark_. Said Tony Stark was also using his phone, which really wasn't unusual. Besides, he couldn't possibly be playing games on it. Steve Rogers, playing something like Angry Birds? Ridiculous.  

 

So when they heard the distinct chimes of Flappy Bird, they assumed it was Stark. But then Stark put his phone down, but the chimes continued. That left...Rogers. Rogers gave an 'aw shucks' grin. 

 

"I couldn't find out how to turn off my notification chimes. Sorry about that."

 

As they all turned away, Tony and Bucky raised an eyebrow. Steve just gave them the cheesiest grin he could muster, and felt a warm bubble of happiness as Tony laughed and Bucky grinned.

\-----

"...I don't understand."

 

He held back a snort as a vein in the agent's jawline jumped. 

 

"You just pressed the green button that looks like a phone, and either dial the number, or press the button with their name on it."

"...How do I find their number?"

"Ask them."

"And then it'll just...call them?"

"Yes."

_"Amazing."_

"Quite. Indeed. Anymore questions, sir?"

"As a matter of fact, I can't seem to work my computer. It just stays dark."

"Well, perhaps if you turn it on..."

\------

"I just feel so _gay_ right now! Isn't it a wonderful feeling, waking up so gay? A good workout always makes my morning. So, are you all feeling as gay as I am?"

 

The trainees just blinked, unsure if they should clarify, or just nod, or what. Steve grinned harder and continued on. He knew exactly what he was doing. He smacked a young man on the back. 

 

"So. How gay are you, son?"

 

At the various snickers, the young man turned red, and honestly looked as if he wanted a hole to swallow him up.

 

"Very, sir. Gay as can be."

 

Steve fought to contain his laughter.

\------

"ALL RIGHT, I have had enough."

 

People looked over at the speakers, where Tony Stark's voice was patching through.

 

"Steve Rogers has been trolling you all, and I have to admit he has been doing a damn good job of it."

 

Whispers broke out. Steve Rogers? _Captain America?_ A _troll?_

 

"Yup. But I have to say, it really didn't take much. You're all so determined not to see him as a person, but rather as an ideal, that he was able to literally scream out a curse word in a room populated by numerous witnesses and get away with it. Come on, people; if I tried that, I would have been tazed so hard by Supernanny that I'd be left a drooling, twitching mess."

 

Sergeant Barnes joined in.

 

"Seriously. As a witness to his days as a Howling Commando, Steve Rogers is _not,_ I repeat, _not,_ a fair maiden. Our whole team was the definition of a crazy, rag-tag group of misfits, and he was our leader. Seriously. The way you just let him maneuver around you is hilariously sad."

 

Steve rolled his eyes as everyone turned to him. Were they expecting him to deny it?

 

"And you don't need to explain references or gadgetry either. The fucker has a perfect understanding of those things, and just wanted to watch you get frustrated explaining it to him. "

 

The agent who spent _four hours_ giving a step-by-step lesson narrowed his eyes.

 

"And _yes,_ he does know that gay also means homosexual, so whoever suffered for that, sucks for you."

 

The agent slammed his head on his desk.

 

"Anyway. Steve, stop being a little shit. I'm sure the precious babies have learned their lesson. It's painful to watch them flounder."

"Yeah, Stevie. Now come on, we're rock-paper-scissoring for our lunch date. I need you to join my side."

"Fuck you, Barnes!"

 

As he rose from his leaning position next to Fury, he gave a wink to a group by the door who looked at him in awe and disturbia before leaving to find his squabbling boyfriends.

\------- 


End file.
